It's Been a Warrior Week

If there ever could be a bi-polar manifestation in my life,
This week would be it!

As last week came to a close, I had a heart so full of gratitude that I could think of NOTHING to ask for in prayer & fasting.
In place of requests, I had nothing but desire to express my heart felt and grateful praises.

In less than 24 hours time, that gratitude shifted to an overwhelming feeling of fear, failure and hopelessness! The shift was so sudden that I actually experienced a physical nausea from the emotional roller coaster.

As I have pondered this experience, I have tried desperately to understand, not only what happened (so I can avoid its repeat) BUT how to dig out of the hole I fell in.

In this very real world sometimes things won't go right-won't be perfect-and won't work out on the first try. Keeping a big picture perspective allows us to know that these times WILL pass but they have a place in our lives and we can't rush the process. It is in these moments of feeling down that we truly learn to appreciate the successes, good times and joys of life.

Last week in my yoga classes, I shared some thoughts that had inspired me. One dear student requested that I blog the mind practice I had shared. As these feelings overcame my heart, I had a difficult time putting the thoughts from class in written form.
After a long chat with my hubby this morning, where I was FINALLY able to put my feelings into words, I had peace restored to my soul. With this freedom came a paradigm shift to my long held beliefs on mindfulness and the power of the present moment.

Prior to the difficulties of this week, I have been adamant that living in the present moment is the key to feeling peace and contentment. I'm a big believer that we need to avoid living in the past and stay away from dwelling in the future- fear, anxiety, doubt, and hate are all manifestations of living outside of the here and now.
This thought process was challenged for me this week. Looking into the past and looking forward to the future, I knew my life was wonderful, peaceful and full of potential, but it was the here and now that felt too big to overcome.
With so many emotions and with a VERY heavy heart, the message I shared in class last week had a new meaning to my heart-

You have to take the good with the bad,
Smile when you're sad,
Love what you've got
And remember what you had.
Always forgive,
But never forget,
Learn from your mistakes
But never regret,
People change,
Things go wrong,
Just remember life goes on.

I realized that no matter how hard we try, things WILL go wrong and our strength may give way to our weaknesses AND we might come head to head with thoughts and feelings that seem to come rushing at us all at once and hit like a ton of bricks to the gut...

It is in these moments that we are brought to face ourselves head to head- and if we humble ourselves we can come out righteous and strong, just like the Warrior pose-
We go to yesterday in an effort to forgive and learn, but not forget-
And we think on tomorrow knowing our potential has no limits and we will win the battle!

In some way, I add some version of Warrior postures into my practice.
Warrior 1 is  a good posture to begin a standing series for many reasons.

Image Source

 

Warrior 1 is a representation of a yogi's ability to "overcome their own ignorance...  if you attempt to stay in it for any length of time, you'll confront your own bodily, emotional, or mental weaknesses. Whatever limitations you have, the pose will reveal them so that they can be addressed." Man, does this explain how I felt this week!!

We've been adding Humble and Proud Warrior to our practice for several weeks.
Proud Warrior is a slight back bend, our eyes directed to Heaven...
Proud Warrior remembers all that we have; our talents, achievements, strengths and joys are a gift from above.
In a smooth and controlled flow, we take our bow into Humble Warrior
(a posture requiring core stability, strength & balance)
Humble warrior realizes that we can only tap into our full and divine strength and potential when we bring ourselves to complete and honest humility.

As things started to crumble this week, I realized that they hit me so hard because I was taking each hit personally. I accepted a position of pride thinking I, alone, am in control. Somehow, I allowed myself to think I could have stopped the destruction, could have prevented the pain. In my pride, I took my gaze off the heavens- my source of strength, and took on a pure defensive approach. I gathered all my weapons and went to war- which left my body and soul feeling a lot beat up.

When I applied the application of Proud Warrior in my life practice, and took my gaze to the heavens, my perspective returned and I realized I am not in control! I can only pray and hope that lessons will be learned and wisdom will be gained from hardships AND good times!
With this perspective, I could flow into my bow and assume Humble Warrior-- accessing all my strength while standing in complete submission to the flow of the Divine.
I, alone, can do nothing. But I, with my higher self (with my Heavenly Father) am limited by nothing at all.
The secret to having it all is knowing that you already do.

And friends,

Oxnard, CA 2013

I know I already do :)