Step off the Merry-Go-Round

This month,

Okay, I admit, this year... 

Has been cra-cra!! 

In case you don't know what that means, I've provided,

for your learning pleasure,

a great list of synonyms-->

    disorder, disarray, disorganization, confusion, mayhem, bedlam, pandemonium, havoc, turmoil,

    tumult, commotion, upheaval, muddle, mess, hullabaloo, hoopla, train wreck... 

This list is NOT exhaustive by the way,

but I think you might get the point-

The reason for this cra-cra year you ask?? 

Well, honestly,

I don't know! Really, it's just LIFE

Life Happened!! & I'm sure it has happened to you at one time or another as well- 

It is so easy for life to get a lot out of hand- 

And it is soooooo hard, to find a way to rein it in and feel a little less, 

well, CRA-CRA!! 

I LOVE this TED talk about Family-Life-Work Balance-

The line that speaks to me- and probably at some level speaks to you- is

"If you don't design your life someone else WILL design it for you, and you may just not like their idea of balance" 

Mr. Marsh goes on to advise, "never put the quality of your lives in the hands of" _________!

I left the spot blank, because honestly, we could all fill that blank in with any number of words-

work, bosses, neighbors, church... 

I don't think we mean to do it, 

but for some reason we give out a lot of our freedom to choose

how we want to live, how we want to feel, how we want to ENJOY! 

Somehow, our way of thinking has convinced very rational & bright adults

that they have to buy a Timeshare Property in a place where residents

work harder & stay longer and where task lists motivate them to do more- 

But all this harder, longer, more is not to get ahead like the brochure package says-

It's a harder, longer, more just to barely keep their residents' heads above water! 

And rather than buying a timeshare that only gets visited once in awhile, 

a majority of these adults are conned into buying permanent property in 'Too Busy-ville'! 

What no one realized,

is that the kids in Too Busyville don't like it and they want OUT. 

Their parents don't smile, 

they don't have fun; as a matter of fact,

NO ONE here really even talks to each other-

so what do the kids in Too Busyville do? 

Well, they rebel and move next door to 'Pretty Idol-ville'.

Parents get worried and want to entice their kids back home, 

so they enroll the run-aways in sports, teams, clubs, lessons, and private instruction--> 

Until everyone here is just so busy that hours blend into days, 

days into weeks and weeks into months... 

It's really all a very crazy cycle- and one that a lot of people just want off- 

I've always affectionately referred to this busy-ness 

as an out of control Merry-Go-Round- and I've begged to get off!

Photo retrieved from Pinterest

**An interesting side note here-

there are NO Merry-Go-Rounds (the old fashioned kind) 

anywhere in our town anymore! 

Why? Because they are TOO DANGEROUS! 

Now that's Karma 

Each day, we ALL do a little work and a little learning-

And EACH DAY, we ALL do a little play. 

I am loving this new arrangement- 

we are getting some long overdue chores completed

AND we have plenty of time- 

Time for family, friends, exercise and QUIET time!! 

So today, as bright and early as I could convince my kiddos to wake up, 

Beautiful Children enjoying a Beautiful Morning

we went to Dallas for the Dallas Farmer's Market. 

This is truly one of my favorite if all time farmers markets, 

second only to Santa Monica- 

and in all honesty Santa Monica wins only because of the beach! 

(oh, and the live Andy Grammar concert on 3rd Street Promenade)

This is what we all needed- 

we laughed and smelled the flowers,

we held hands and tasted EVERYTHING, 

This kind man came with the sign

 we simply enjoyed life and each other! 

I absolutely LOVE the hand written signs

As we turned and left the market,


the city of Dallas was straight ahead,
Just a hop, skip, & a jump away-

It is a beautiful place to be,

and it has it's purpose-

But this little sign,

My clue to go back the way I came and get a brownie :)

 represented how I felt about the busy world around me- 

a simple caution warning that what lies ahead is very different

than where we were- 

I know that sometimes you need to enter 'Too Busy-ville"-

I've spent many a day there myself-

but don't stay too long-

and definitely don't buy property-

It's okay to enjoy a little extra time in 

Balanced-ropolis! 

 

The Power of Priorities

My husband really struggles with perspective. When things are crazy at work, he is like a charging bull-

he puts his head down and charges through until the task is complete-
It is actually a quality that I admire and truly believe it is one of his greatest strengths- charging bulls do NOT get distracted by their environment. They see that bright red tease of the conquistador and that is ALL that they can see!
It is also one of his biggest weaknesses. This incredible focus and determination also prevents him from seeing a beautiful sunset or a fleeting rainbow,

dancing in the rain,

A sudden & massive downpour- gone in 5 minutes!

or sensing the needs of a struggling child!

Smiling but having a REALLY hard day :'(

Because of a recent life changing event in his life, he has the blessing and opportunity to re-invent himself a little. He has been more responsive than he has ever been before to my way of thinking (we definitely have a yin/yang relationship) and we have spent a lot of time talking about growth, perspective and priorities! On Thursday, we had the opportunity to talk about ways to set his priorities in order. Taking from Steven R. Covey's teachings and principles of balance, I suggested that hubby dear write his number one priorities. Those priorities will go FIRST into his calendar and 'to do' lists! After they have been accounted for, he can add in other tasks and chores!

As a result of our little chat, I felt the need to take a quick check into my own life balance as well. Though I study this topic thoroughly, counsel and advise others frequently, and practice all the techniques I know for physical and mental balance; it is important to check in with yourself once in awhile. It is far too easy to get distracted and have balance disturbed.

As I pondered my own life balance and priorities this past week, I noticed one thing that created within me a wake up call to awareness of my own goals and dreams. I have this dream, it's been with me for as long as I can remember- but I've always just kept it on the back burner as a "one day" type of dream! As I studied and had to report frequently on Time Management for a class I was taking last semester, I realized that not only is a 'dream unwritten merely a wish', but I also realized that by burying this dream in the context of secret life's desires, I had inadvertently tucked it a way, committing to myself that it would never manifest in my reality!!!

OOOOOOOHHHHHH! I did not like this idea at all, but I KNEW it was true! In order for anything to come into reality, it must be lived, talked about and acted upon as if it IS a reality! The problem that arises is that because dreams are often so ambiguous, it is hard to commit to them when the bills need to be paid, a child forgets their homework, or you see a spec of dirt on the floor (I'm an OCD housewife, by the way).

So acting on the advice I gave him, I sat down to pinpoint my priorities. I made a list of things that are MOST important to me. These things almost ALWAYS fall to the bottom of my lists (or worse yet, to 'tomorrows' list, which is where tasks go to die in my world)! When one of these things does make it into my day, there is a good chance that I DO NOT enjoy it as much as I should because of guilt for what I am NOT doing or fear that I will neglect something more important and let someone down!

*** Just a quick word of advice- if you hear in your mind or feel in your heart words like "fear", "shame", "guilt", or "regret" KNOW that these words do NOT exist in the current moment!! These are words that indicate you are living in the past or the future- both of which don't really exist- so do NOT let these feelings stick around. (more on this topic another day)

Because I think holistically- body, mind, and spirit- my list is separated this way as well. But here it is:

My Top 3 Personal Interests

1. Exercise

2. Study

3. Writing

My Top 3 Family Joys

1. Travel

2. Play

3. Food

and My Top 3 Spiritual Desires

1. Study

2. Worship

3. Family History (both for my posterity and my ancestors)

Eat, Sleep, Teach, Repeat

Please notice that clean floors, perfectly kept bedrooms and sparkling windows are NOT on these lists. Though a clean and orderly house is very important to me (did I say I suffer from OCD housewife syndrome?), it is NOT what is going to get me into Heaven nor is it the legacy I want to leave behind. I DO have to fit it in- I can't deny that-
BUT
...I have to make room for the true desires of my heart first. This perspective is what fuels dreams, harnesses power and drives personal success. I may not get to these items EVERY day- but if I have gone weeks without these priorities, there is a good chance I'm living a life off balance and off my chosen journey!

What would be your top 3 priorities and what can you do to make sure these priorities are making it into your daily life?
Go out and live the life you dream, the life you cherish, the YOU you were meant to be!


Blessings & Balance to you and yours,
TKP

Parenting 101

A few months ago, I was asked to speak
to a large group of adults in our area.
My topic was "Successful Parenting"
If that wasn't intimidating enough-
the gentleman who asked me said,
"Now what we are really looking for
is practical tips and ideas that can be taken
home and implemented immediately into
the homes of those who attend. We want
them to feel empowered and successful."

Yumminess at Millions of Milkshakes

HOLY COW! I stopped breathing and
IMMEDIATELY had a non stop movie
playing in my mind of ALL the things
I've done to completely scar my children!

If you're going to fight, You're going to be glued together at the hip :) until you can get along

I've spoken to big groups before,
I've spoken about really sensitive topics-
but Parenting, this is a very personal topic!!
Parenting is one of those things that can stir
a lot of emotions- people can easily feel judged,
inadequate, defensive--
and when any of that happens,
lots of people just turn off and come up with
a million reasons why "that won't work at my house!"

He's FINALLY Home!!! Dinner at Chuy's

Man, this felt like a heavy task-
and I didn't want to get it wrong in any way!

I started with a great big prayer
(and a zillion little ones)
and thought about the wonderful gift
that parenting is to me!

Take Part in Fun Family Activities

It is hard, it is often thankless,
and it is always EXHAUSTING...
but if you can step back out of all of that
and realize what a gift it is to be able to influence
the direction, course and outcome of someone's
life- to be THE person that someone thinks of
when they think safe, secure and happy!

Graduation, NOW on to College

My friends,
I KNOW parenting is a gift.

Family Photo Shoot a Million Years Ago

After much thought,
I came up with a defining moment in my
own parenting journey.
It was the realization that my focus needs to be
on a "To Teach" list and not on my normal "To Do" list!

Fun and Happiness, No Matter where we are!

It was when I began to look at my role as a mother
in this way- as a teacher and guide of my children's life journey
that I realized nothing seemed burdensome or tedious anymore.
Nothing seemed trite or menial in my day,
I found an increased desire to help them GAIN something
out of our time together and we found reason to
incorporate joy, team work and beauty into every day-

More than Anything, my hope is that my children are Friends & Lifelong Support Staff for each other

Because let's face it-
"Men are that they might have joy" 2 Nephi 2:25

Relaxing Together & Working Together create a Family that Stays Together

I shared five suggestions that seem to have
made a positive impact on our family. Because
they are very general, there is plenty of room to customize
these suggestions for your home and family life.
Watch for more detail on each suggestion through the week:

 Suggestions for Successful Parenting

1. Create a Vision for Your Family

2. See the Potential in Your Children that they often
can't see in themselves

3. Create in Your Homes Opportunity for Children
to recognize the Spirit of the Lord early in their Lives

4. Hold Regular Family Councils AND Involve the
Children in Big Decisions

5. When BIG Issues Arise, Follow after the Parenting
of a Loving Heavenly Father- His ways will ALWAYS
show you what is needed in your home

My Mom's Kitchen

I actually can't remember a whole lot of food from my moms kitchen. 

It's actually kind of sad because I know she was a good cook, 

but its been a really, REALLY long time since she passed away 

and I just can't remember. 

I do remember that her mom made 

Split Pea Soup with a Ham Bone- 

which looked really gross to me but was supposedly really yummy!

I also have memories of sitting on the rolls 

several Thanksgivings in a row :(

I do know that my mom made a really yummy punch 

which I LOVED

and she had a beautiful punch bowl that she used to serve it

When I was sick, 

she made me homemade Tapioca pudding. 

I haven't eaten that since she died- 

it was just never the same when you have to make it yourself :(

So why can't I remember what we ATE??????

Well, one day I had a memory of her BLT Sandwiches. 

She would toast the bread,

and layer the Bacon, Lettuce & Tomatoes on top!  

I probably have eaten one or two in the 31 years since she passed. 

Well I have been craving them something fierce- 

so I caved in and allowed myself some bread- 

WHITE CIABATTA BREAD!

Ciabatta, Bacon, Tomato, Lettuce & Avocado

I pause for the gasps and lectures to cease!! 

I added my own little modern day twist- 

and used Pesto instead of Mayonnaise...

Keep in mind my mom was gone long before 

gluten free, sugar free, and no preservative diets were the norm

I have to say, that for a guilty pleasure, it was WORTH IT! 

Holy Cow that's a case of a HUGE piece of Lettuce!

Like really worth it. 

Like so worth it, I had it a second day in a row 

AND I felt no regret. 

At least no regret until I woke up with swollen fingers-

Back to being Good-

Oh, but it was soooo YUMMY!

A Rare Splurge at Lunch. Aaaahhhh

Set The Example and They Will Follow

One sleepless night,
I sat up and browsed Pinterest-

You can easily tell when I have insomnia
because that is the only time I do my "pinning"
Instead of the random one or two pins after
I've searched for a yummy recipe,
I will have 6,000+ pins in a single day
(or night-
I often lose track during insomnia bouts)

Anyway,
One sleepless night,
I came across this quote

   
    

and this quote



and I have been thinking a lot about these for
the past few weeks!
 

My life is a whole lot different than
it could have been! I feel like there have
been several times in my life where I
had divine help to get me on the right track
and lots of helping hands that worked
tirelessly to KEEP me there.

I had an amazing mom who loved unconditionally,
and who touched everyone who came into her
circle of influence.
Though she passed away at a very young age,
she had a huge impact on the type of person I wanted
to be when I grew up.

At her funeral, and for years after, people
would recognize me as Paula Reese's daughter
and share stories of her love and kindness with me!

I wanted desperately to be that kind of person!!

So when I saw these quotes,
I really started evaluating how my influence
is impacting my own children.
I wonder if I am patterning my life in such a way
that they will have a desire to do good because that's
what they see in my life?

Though I can think of a zillion things I am ashamed of,
I do have a few habits and traditions that I know my kids
are very grateful for and hope to be able to maintain
with their own families.

It's a tall order to think that what we do today
makes an impact on the future-
not just our own children,
but their children and so on...

Go about and get busy becoming who you
want your kiddos to be-
that's my summer challenge!
We will have fun,
for sure,
there will be water, sun, movies and staying up late-
but I think,
this summer,
I will consider SHOWING my kids what
manner of people I want them to be!

I shouldn't have, but I did

I know better-
I really, really know better!

But I did it anyway-
and you know what,
I am DARN glad that I did!!

I bribed my 8 year old son

to try to eat healthy for ONE full week-
NO sugar,

The Makings of Chocolate Molten Lava Cake

NO artificial food
 
and LOTS & LOTS of
Fruits & Veggies

You see, we eat healthy-

at least mostly-

here at Chez Peterson,

But my two youngest-
well they are the shame of our Chez,
they are the pickiest of the picky-
so I got desperate and
I bribed him!!

In exchange, I offered a treat
at the local Yogurt Stop that he
has wanted for SOOOOOO long-

This is a treat I always say 'NO' to-
Not to mention,
in January, we stopped going for
store bought treats completely,
so he has been YEARNING to
go and get a big ole' yogurt smoothie!

I NEVER bribe healthy for junk-
I mean
REALLY- where is the logic??

But desperate times called for desperate measures-
and this mom saw NO other option.

He has been amazing-
He is bound and determined to succeed.
He has eaten veggies at EVERY meal,
he has tried cantaloupe, blackberries and green grapes-

he has eaten cucumbers, celery and avocado!

You don't live here, so you don't realize it
BUT this is BIG

Today is Day 4-
one more school day to go,
Next week we are going at it again-
we'll make it longer-
TEN DAYS!

There is hope yet that he won't turn to plastic
because of all the fake food he eats!

Day 68- Keep Your Buddy Motivated

I think the time between School Starting

and Christmas

is a tough time to try to eliminate BAD
eating habits!!

Not only are there the Holidays,
Halloween,

All of our favorite Fall Cupcakes

Thanksgiving,

 & Christmas!

Our Annual Gingerbread Decorating Party

But, in our case,
we have four of our eight birthdays

Happy 8th Buddy!

between September 15th & November 6th
That's a lot of Birthday Cake & Ice Cream!

My hubby and I are in this 84 day journey
together. He does better if I am on board with
changes to his eating habits and I do better
if he isn't eating the foods that are NO NO's to me!

We were doing great...
and than,
he had a crisis at work!
 
And he is a stress eater-
BIG TIME!!

So he got off track for a few days,
which led to a snowball and turned into
more like a week of trying to get back on
track-
Why is it so hard to recover from a derailment?

Well, when he got off track,
I got off track!
How weird is that?
I wasn't stressed!
I wasn't working late hours!
But for some reason,
when my buddy struggled,
I struggled!

I realized this a few days ago,
as I was preparing to get us back
on track, how important it is to support
the people closest to you.
Your support of them,
ricochet's right back at you and becomes
their support of you!

I hadn't really thought of this before,
but it sure transformed the morning
ritual of preparing 5 sack lunches
from a chore to a privilege!

Make sure and keep your buddy motivated-
in the end they may be the motivation you need
one day-
like the day your piano teacher sends you home
with 6 delicious and beautiful Caramel Apples!

Day 75- Family Dinner Time

As I was reading the myriad of
books, information and advice
on how best to change your eating
habits and developing a great
exercise routine,
I came across one general consensus.

If you can eat at home, at least 1/3 of the
time, or 10 meals a week,
you will have a better chance at
health, wellness and fitness!!!


I kind of laughed at that one a bit,
it seems a little....
Hmmmmmm, what's the word I'm looking for??
Oh, OBVIOUS!!

How often do I successfully go to a
restaurant, no matter what kind of
restaurant it is, and eat the same way
I would at home?

UM, like NEVER!!
So you might be thinking,
Well, I can do it! And to that I will
either say "You're a Liar" or
"You're a SAINT!"

With portion sizes HUGE,
a great array of options,
all kinds of drinks, appetizers and
desserts on the menu,
I think it is HARD to go out to eat
and eat a NORMAL portion size
of anything!!

I have been a huge advocate of
Family Dinner Time since before
Baby #1 was even a twinkle in my eye!

My grandma made a big deal about dinner time,
actually any meal for that matter!
She set out placemats, and the proper
table setting for even simple snacks of
Graham Crackers & Milk.

Fancy dishes, at Grandma's house,
were NOT just for special occasions or
special guests. They were used for
EVERY person who ate ANYTHING
at her kitchen table!
I loved it and if nothing else,
I intended to keep this up when I got married.

And that I have done!
I love that almost ALL of our meals
are eaten at home.
I love that almost ALL of our meals
are made by my hands, in my kitchen
for MY family- my special guests-
because that's how I see them!
These beautiful six kids of mine

and this wonderful, beautiful family

are a special and wonderful part of my life.
They add charm, wit, experience, laughter
and a house full of joy

to my life.

It is very likely, if you stop by my house
between 5:30 and 6:30,
you will find us around the kitchen table.

A really old, pretty bad picture- but a good look at Sunday dinner at our house!

Eating, laughing, talking about our day.
And it is very likely,
that you will see more than Peterson's at
that table.
My kitchen and my dining table know no
limits and all are welcome...
to sup,
to share
and most of all
to love!!!

When I ask our children to pick one thing
that they love and appreciate about our family,
9 times out of 10,
their answer is "that we eat our meals around
the table, together!"
Ahhhhhh,
that does a mommies heart good to hear such
a sentiment!

It's a lost treasure in today's fast paced,
tightly scheduled, hectic, gotta hurry
WORLD-
if you've lost this treasure,
find a way to get it back.

YOU WON'T REGRET IT!!
You have my word for it!