The Power of Priorities

My husband really struggles with perspective. When things are crazy at work, he is like a charging bull-

he puts his head down and charges through until the task is complete-
It is actually a quality that I admire and truly believe it is one of his greatest strengths- charging bulls do NOT get distracted by their environment. They see that bright red tease of the conquistador and that is ALL that they can see!
It is also one of his biggest weaknesses. This incredible focus and determination also prevents him from seeing a beautiful sunset or a fleeting rainbow,

dancing in the rain,

A sudden & massive downpour- gone in 5 minutes!

or sensing the needs of a struggling child!

Smiling but having a REALLY hard day :'(

Because of a recent life changing event in his life, he has the blessing and opportunity to re-invent himself a little. He has been more responsive than he has ever been before to my way of thinking (we definitely have a yin/yang relationship) and we have spent a lot of time talking about growth, perspective and priorities! On Thursday, we had the opportunity to talk about ways to set his priorities in order. Taking from Steven R. Covey's teachings and principles of balance, I suggested that hubby dear write his number one priorities. Those priorities will go FIRST into his calendar and 'to do' lists! After they have been accounted for, he can add in other tasks and chores!

As a result of our little chat, I felt the need to take a quick check into my own life balance as well. Though I study this topic thoroughly, counsel and advise others frequently, and practice all the techniques I know for physical and mental balance; it is important to check in with yourself once in awhile. It is far too easy to get distracted and have balance disturbed.

As I pondered my own life balance and priorities this past week, I noticed one thing that created within me a wake up call to awareness of my own goals and dreams. I have this dream, it's been with me for as long as I can remember- but I've always just kept it on the back burner as a "one day" type of dream! As I studied and had to report frequently on Time Management for a class I was taking last semester, I realized that not only is a 'dream unwritten merely a wish', but I also realized that by burying this dream in the context of secret life's desires, I had inadvertently tucked it a way, committing to myself that it would never manifest in my reality!!!

OOOOOOOHHHHHH! I did not like this idea at all, but I KNEW it was true! In order for anything to come into reality, it must be lived, talked about and acted upon as if it IS a reality! The problem that arises is that because dreams are often so ambiguous, it is hard to commit to them when the bills need to be paid, a child forgets their homework, or you see a spec of dirt on the floor (I'm an OCD housewife, by the way).

So acting on the advice I gave him, I sat down to pinpoint my priorities. I made a list of things that are MOST important to me. These things almost ALWAYS fall to the bottom of my lists (or worse yet, to 'tomorrows' list, which is where tasks go to die in my world)! When one of these things does make it into my day, there is a good chance that I DO NOT enjoy it as much as I should because of guilt for what I am NOT doing or fear that I will neglect something more important and let someone down!

*** Just a quick word of advice- if you hear in your mind or feel in your heart words like "fear", "shame", "guilt", or "regret" KNOW that these words do NOT exist in the current moment!! These are words that indicate you are living in the past or the future- both of which don't really exist- so do NOT let these feelings stick around. (more on this topic another day)

Because I think holistically- body, mind, and spirit- my list is separated this way as well. But here it is:

My Top 3 Personal Interests

1. Exercise

2. Study

3. Writing

My Top 3 Family Joys

1. Travel

2. Play

3. Food

and My Top 3 Spiritual Desires

1. Study

2. Worship

3. Family History (both for my posterity and my ancestors)

Eat, Sleep, Teach, Repeat

Please notice that clean floors, perfectly kept bedrooms and sparkling windows are NOT on these lists. Though a clean and orderly house is very important to me (did I say I suffer from OCD housewife syndrome?), it is NOT what is going to get me into Heaven nor is it the legacy I want to leave behind. I DO have to fit it in- I can't deny that-
BUT
...I have to make room for the true desires of my heart first. This perspective is what fuels dreams, harnesses power and drives personal success. I may not get to these items EVERY day- but if I have gone weeks without these priorities, there is a good chance I'm living a life off balance and off my chosen journey!

What would be your top 3 priorities and what can you do to make sure these priorities are making it into your daily life?
Go out and live the life you dream, the life you cherish, the YOU you were meant to be!


Blessings & Balance to you and yours,
TKP

A Spoonful of Sugar...

It is common practice in our church to dedicate the first Sunday of every month to fasting and prayer. My family and I have often offered specific and unified prayers for special blessings or needs we may be seeking. Concerns over health and strength or special desires for insight are often the subject of our fasting and prayer.


This is an opportunity for our spiritual selves to overcome our physical selves. I have come to discover the unique blessing this has been in my own life and in our family as a whole.

As May was drawing to a close, I reflected on the month and pondered what I might dedicate my June fast to. I realized that, with all the chaos in our home right now, I was most in need of offering a prayer of Gratitude! A trial that I have ALWAYS viewed as the ONE thing I did not think I could survive happened to our family at the end of March. Rather than beating me down and causing me to fret and fright each and every morning, noon, and night (which is my habit), I have felt peace, joy, and an overwhelming sense of privilege for such a trial! As the days have turned into weeks and the weeks into months, I see what a gift this is for my husband, my family and myself!

It felt very good to declare that I had no needs nor special concerns that were more important than the awareness I had of all the small and mighty beauties that had filled my life in April and May. As I had journeyed throughout the months of April and May, I had taken stock each day  of the sweet hand of the Lord in my life. I was overcome by the small and simple things that can bring us joy if we just open up and see them for what they are.

I believe these gifts of bounty are manifest in each of our lives. I also believe that we must be in the right mindset, otherwise there is a good chance we won't recognize that which is right in front of our faces.We need to open our hearts to see the world, our lives and our experiences in a way that is contrary to public habit. When we look at what we lack, it is very difficult to see our abundance. There is no lesson that I spend more time teaching my kiddos than that "Happiness is a Choice" and choice is the only thing in this life that we truly have complete control over.

retrieved from www.contentinacottage.blogspot.ca/2013/02/abraham-lincoln-quote-about-roses.html

If we only see the trial, it may be impossible to watch the hand of Mercy come in and prepare a path to beauty that never before seemed possible. This is the power of stepping back and looking at what we THINK we see with new eyes- a better perspective.

retrieved from http://www.justgrowalready.com/2013/08/reader-mail-how-do-you-react-to-setbacks.html#.Ule1JieVOS

 We can complain about the rainstorm, or we can dance in the rain.

My beautiful daughter with a determination that knows no bounds

After the storm, the rainbow WILL come, whether we choose to see it or not. The person who runs inside, angry about the storm that ruined the picnic is sure to miss the beauty in that very brief moment when the sun and the storm intersect. But he who chooses to dance in the rain, is sure to bask in the glory of what can only be created in full grandeur AFTER a storm!

Photo taken in McKinney, TX by friend Lisa Wood

Bloom Where You Are Planted

I have been thinking about this for several days
and decided that the thought needed to be put
into writing- maybe just for me-
but hopefully for you too.

I am almost 100% sure that I am not the only
mom/woman/human/adult (pick your noun)
who worries about the life they are living
and if it is the life they should be or COULD be living!

I have been really been struggling since we made
this most recent move!
It's been almost 2 years, for crying out loud-
and I just can't seem to get any semblance of
BELONGING!

Honestly it is the weirdest thing...
I wish I could explain it without sounding WEIRD!

Anyway,
I have offered many prayers on this matter and
a few days ago, I feel that I got a mini-answer
Maybe not an answer,
but definitely a little bit of an understanding.

You see,
I feel like I've been holding back since we moved to Texas-
definitely not on purpose,
and definitely not on everything...
but I've been holding back those things that I love-
love to share, love to create and love to do!

For 9 years we lived somewhere that we loved-

Our beautiful home in small town MN

kind people, great friends, awesome experiences!

Pig Roast in a garage- classic MN entertaining venue

I loved to decorate, craft, scrapbook, sew

Ten years of Ornament Exchange ornamentation- my favorite tradition EVER!!

and mostly I loved to host...

Andover Ward Ten Year Anniversary

ANYTHING and EVERYTHING-

I loved to find a reason to have a bunch
of people together laughing and having a good time!

6th Annual 4th of July Bike Parade

We had a lot of space,

Human Foosball at our 'Nothing Like a Good Friend Party'

a lot of flexibility

Ice Hockey on our Front Yard Pond

and it was simply what I LOVED to do...

Every good Bike Parade ends with a game of Water Baseball

I started hearing some pretty unkind criticism of
the things I loved to do,
and I noticed that I started to hold back and feel
anxious when I wanted to host a party or an activity-
I tried so hard to not allow the unkind remarks of some
to influence my heart,
but I fell prey to human emotion
and the remarks left a sting.

And then we moved...
No one knew me, which meant
no one knew what I did in my spare time
or what talents or skills I had or didn't have

and I found that I became a different version of ME!

We became Beach Bumms to the MAX

To be honest, I liked this version of me quite a bit too...
weekends at the beach,

Muscle Beach... always a FAV

Any Day is a Beach Day

lunch with friends, shopping in the city-
my husband has teased that I was on a 3 year play date :)

And because I felt like a blank slate,
I incorporated some things into my life that I hadn't
taken enough time for before-

Yoga moved from an exercise routine to a way of life

Over time, I started to add some of the old me back
into my life and things were really starting to click
that this could be my new HOME!

Pasta Parties before a Swim Meet

Kids in the Kitchen cooking classes

AND THEN WE MOVED AGAIN!

and I feel like a clean slate that just doesn't dare to be
inked up or colored on.
But I also feel a little lost and a lot lonely-


Now I want to take a minute to say, that
there are some things that I have added to my life
because of where I am emotionally that I LOVE-

So I'm not a male accordion player- but I do spend a lot of time in peaceful contentment

and honestly I wouldn't trade these things for the world-
or for either of my past lives!
 
But it doesn't change the fact that I feel a little disconnected...

So as I was praying one day,
desperate for guidance or understanding,
I envisioned a beautiful flower-

alone in a meadow.
Though the flower was alone amongst all the green foliage,
it was blossoming in it's full glory-
big, colorful and full of God's splendor.

I realized that not for one moment did that flower
hesitate to bloom,

never once did it question how long it
would be able to sustain that blossom nor did it ask
how many people would get to see it's beauty-

The flower blossomed because it was time
AND that is what it was created to do-
to reach it's full potential,
to magnify the measure of its creation.

I thought about this ALL day-
and I asked myself a lot of questions.

Why am I holding back?
What am I holding back?
Who am I waiting to give me permission to live the life
I want to live?
Why do I think it matters where I live to fulfill the full
measure of MY creation?

I loved this visual aid that Heavenly Father gave me.
I do better when I can SEE the lesson-
and I could SEE this!
Not only could I see the flower imagery,
but I could apply it into my own life.

I understand a little more why I feel so disconnected
AND more importantly,
I understand what I need to do to fix it-

I need to consider my life as a wonderful journey-
similar to a walk in a park with little kids!

My kiddos could walk along and gather
anything and everything-
rocks, sticks, leaves...
At the end of the day they were the same
beautiful kids they were at days beginning
(probably a little dirtier)
BUT they had gathered a lot of little treasures to take home with them!
Some treasures we keep,

It's not what you do, but who you do it with that really matters

some we outgrow or leave behind

These treasures moved on to their own bigger and better...

and some are precious enough to display...

Some people come into your life long enough to make a forever imprint on your heart

I just happen to be walking through a much larger park :)

I just need to remember that we have gathered some amazing treasures over the years

Enjoy your day
Enjoy where you are right now
And never let a single day pass by
without living up to the full potential of THAT DAY

Life & Yoga Part 1

I have practiced yoga for many years. 

I love what it does for my body, 
but more than anything, 
I love what it does for my spirit.

In my opinion, the yoga instructor can
make or break a practice. 
The encouragement and the thoughts they
provide throughout class can increase the level
of calm in my very chatty brain

OR 
increase the chaos and distraction
in my body and mind!
I choose CALM,
thank you very much!

This is Ashley.
 
I took her yoga classes faithfully for several years. 
She is absolutely beautiful in mind and in spirit. 

Life is the same as a yoga class in many ways-
If you have a good leader,
whether it is a peer, mentor or spouse-
who can lead you and guide you through
the many twists and turns of life,
your growth and development can reach
new heights all the while enjoying peace and calm.

I have been influenced by many people for good,
some only for a what seems like a minute,
others have been with me for years.

But it is their gently touch on my soul that  
will last a lifetime.

Day 79- Maybe You Need a New Playlist

I have an awesome workout instructor
who can motivate the sweat out of my
body in a rapid High Interval Heart Beat!

I do whatever I can to make it to her classes
and have signed up for her semi private fitness
teams as well. She is well known for saying,
"Oh, I love this song, lets do one more push to
get our heart rate up". Regardless of how hard
we have already pushed and despite moanings from
the room, she leads us through a High Intensity Drill
that sends us to our maximum heart rate!

On my own, I can't get nearly as good as a workout
as I get with her at the lead.

Today, my husband and I both wanted to get
a workout in before we started a hectic day with
the kids. We went to the gym, and I brought along
a book my son has been begging me to read. I am
not a good runner, inside or out, so if I am going
to be stuck with the treadmill, I will crank up the
incline and walk as fast as I can, this allows me
to pass the time reading. I usually can get a
pretty good workout it and I figure it's better than
sitting on my hiney reading a book!!

Well today, I decided to do a few High Intensity Intervals
to get my heart rate up a bit before I settled into my
normal pace. I had just updated my workout playlist,
so I knew I had some good songs to keep me focused.
As I approached the final few minutes of my
pre-determined time before I settled in, one of my
favorite songs came on the i-pod. In my head, I heard
Juliett's voice "Oh, I looooove this song, let's push 3 more
minutes- you can do anything for 3 minutes"

So push I did, and got my heart rate up to where
Juliett would be proud. Just as I had recovered,
another great song came on and I hear that same
voice again! Sure I can push another 3 minutes!!
Well that pattern kept repeating and I kept pushing.

By the time my husband was ready to call it quits,
I was finishing up with a great workout where I had
maintained the highest incline, the fastest speed and
the longest duration I have EVER done on the treadmill
AND I had burned an impressive 700 calories!!

HOLY COW!! Are you serious?? I cannot even begin
to say how proud I was of my workout. This is more
impressive because I DON'T do running! I do NOT do
it Sam I Am. Not on a road, not at the gym,
Not with a friend, Not on a Whim! 

I just kept thinking the entire rest of the day,
 "What else in my life do I have a lack luster
interest in? What else is there that could turn
from a 'can't do' to a 'let's see how far I can push'?"

Is the difference really just the playlist. Updating
the motivation, is that all I need in more than just
exercise? I came up with a list of things
that I think could be improved with
a change to my playlist-

What could you change? What could be your
motivation to get over the hump of what you feel
stuck in? I was surprised at my list, and a little
grateful for the perspective that I received while
pushing myself to my ultimate limits.
I was more surprised by how I felt after.
I felt stronger, more able and more confident
than I have in a long time.

Get out and Change Your Playlist!

Today's Low Down:
B: Fage Greek Yogurt w/ berries & granola
S: Celery with peanut butter
L: Cobb Salad & Multi grain crackers
S: Fruit Salad & Special K granola bar
D: Chicken Lettuce Wrap sandwich,
roasted butter nut squash & corn on the cob

A Good, Hard Look

Last week was one of those weeks
that seem to be very reflective.
I feel like I was forced into taking
a good, hard look at my life,
my health,
and the health of my family.

The more I considered certain
habits and activites in our lives,
the more I felt like I uncovered
these little hidden monsters that had
taken up full time living arrangements
in our lives. And all these MONSTERS
were sabatoging my long term goals
of health and wellness.

It wasn't anything serious, mind you,
but just one of those weeks where
a lot of thought occupied my days-
probably more thought than productivity
I am sad to say.

I wrote a little bit about why I struggle to
keep sugary goodness out of my life here
At least it's one of many of my reasons
 
 But I started to think about the in's and out's
of how I raise my family.
Once I started looking,
I found that I still have a lot of room
for improvement.

First off, I give little treats for incentive
ALL the time-
this goes back to the early days of using
a sticker chart to motivate my first daughter
to potty train and continues today
with the clean house fairy.

I use the anticipation of treats as a way
to help one child overcome a personal
obstacle with what we call a "10 Sticker Date"
and I use treats as a way to celebrate all
manner of successes in our home!

Of course we celebrate holidays and birthdays

with some kind of dessert-

and when you add that up,
that's a lot of dessert in a every month!

I use cooking as a way to bond with my kids,

and a way to share what I love with others.

I like to socialize and host parties that range
from small and intimate,

to 'Over the Top' Huge,

and food is always a big part of that.

Above all of that,
I have treats in Christmas Stockings,
Easter Baskets and
as love notes at Valentines Day.
Add in Halloween, and there is SO much CANDY!
Do you know ANYONE who actually
ends up EATING all their candy??

Really it is CRAZY how much sugar we
have the opportunity to consume in our lives.

So one of my heavy, heavy, HEAVY
thoughts last week was,
if I am going to keep the sugary treats at a minimum
in our house,
I have to replace all of these habits and traditions
with something else.

Well have you seen the grocery stores and
the Walmarts and Targets of this world?
The first thing you see is a HUGE display of
holiday candy and treats! And seriously just
when one holiday ends,
another display goes up.
I am personally shocked they haven't
started to make President's Day colored
M&M's yet- I think that's the only holiday
that doesn't have its own candy display!

So how do I go about replacing all that sugar!
By now it is a habit. If I just all of a sudden quit
celebrating the holidays with stockings, baskets
and love notes, my kids aren't the only ones that
would feel a void and resort to mutiny-

I don't offer a lot of screen time- computer, TV,
or video games-
so that is one option.
But that seems like trading Satan for the Devil-
and doesn't sit really well with my heart!

I've decided love notes WITHOUT the candy
is a good alternative to some of the treat giving,
especially the treat giving that is for celebrations!
At the dinner table, we have implemented
a time to share the highlights of our day
and I am taking a little more time to celebrate
our persoanl successes.
And at holidays in baskets and stockings,
I have decided on healthy snacks that they
can eat whenever they want.

I have tried and really liked
having dessert only on Sundays,
and making this dessert REALLY worth it!
Not just boxed brownies and ice cream...
but chocolate molten lava cakes
& haagen daaz!
I like that and will probably return to that.

I don't think any of my motives are bad,
I just think that they have all gotten out of control.
I really feel like my bad habits are going
to turn into my children's bad habits and I feel
sick about that.
I feel sicker knowing that my bad habits
have contributed in part to my health struggles,
and though I feel incredibly blessed to enjoy
the health that I do have because I know it
could be a zillion times worse,
my desire is to empower my children to
greater health and wellness than I have-
not to teach them to follow in my unhealthy footsteps!
I have a doctor who believes
my changes today, will impact my childrens health tomorrow

I am wondering if all of the tangible rewards
we give to our children have taken a toll on
the natural self esteem boost
that kids should feel from a job well done?
And I am wondering if all the synthetic goodness
that we are offered constantly
has changed our ability to enjoy life in its
natural and pure form?
I guess I just wonder if all that I get
from the sugary treats in my life
is worth all that it takes!

For some reason,
I am a S-L-O-W learner,
maybe because I have so much I
am trying to reset,
but I just have to keep pushing forward
with what I have and what I can do.