How Did I Get Here AGAIN

Is it any wonder I haven't been feeling too well lately??
I mean take a walk through time with me,
to the not to distant past,
where you will see why I call myself an addict!
It really started when I hosted a BABY SHOWER for my little sister.
I tried to eat healthy,
I really did!
I served this...

 and two other delicious salads.
But I also served the Yummiest Banana Cake EVER!
Which I promised myself I wouldn't eat...
and than I did anyway.
And than for Mother's Day,
I made Lemon Cake for Mi Familia,
and I'm sorry to say,
I did partake :(

I think I would have been okay if I could have stopped,

 but I couldn't

 and I didn't.

So than I turned to this yummy goodness,
I'm afraid it was all down hill from there.
In two months, I had all manner of treats
& gooey goodnesses
& delectable joy!

I couldn't really help it,
the beginning of summer is chock full of holidays at our house.
And it all starts with Mother's Day, end of the school year (which we celebrate as a holiday)
continues on for two birthdays, a wedding anniversary
Father's Day, the 4th of July and this year was culminated
by my son's departure for a two year mission.

What was a mom to do??
I should have hidden! I should have RUN for my LIFE!

I have been in a full on lupus tail spin for about three weeks,
I couldn't even keep track of the symptoms that were piling back into my life!
Until one morning, it was obvious to everyone that this was BAD,
which finally led to me deciding to forgo all that I had learned,
all that I have experienced
and all that I have lived by for the past two years.
I decided to call my old doctor,
beg for forgiveness from straying from the medical route,
and go back on all my medication.

And than I thought about it,
and I thought about what I had been eating,
and decided I was going to GO BIG or GO HOME!
So Monday morning,
when my husband reminded me to call the doctor,
I gave him a deal...
or an option!
I was going to clean up my food intake,
I was going to back to the bedtime routine that serves me best
and I was going to WAIT to call the doctor for 7 days.
If this failed, I promised I would call the doctor,
get back on my meds
and be grateful for what I have.
But by Monday night-
no lie, not even 24 hours into it,
I was leaps and bounds better.

I'm definitely not where I want to be,
I totally can't believe that I have gone on this up & down
Roller Coaster this many times
and yet I keep reaching for the sugar/butter/flour combination.

Here I am, feeling good, having hope, and moving my fingers :)
and I'm wondering "Can it really be this simple? Can what I eat make this big of a difference
in how I feel? Can I really do this without medicine?"
and I am Promising myself that this is the last time I will follow this trend.

So why do I keep looking for delicious dessert recipes????????