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Tuesday, June 10, 2014

A life size game of Chutes & Ladders

I wanted to share a letter my daughter wrote home today. She is currently serving a church mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I thought her perspective on the popular kids game, Chutes & Ladders was so insightful. Though she relates it to missionary service and the highs and lows these young kids face each day, I think it relates to our lives as well.

Guten Morgen, 

Yesterday was a Catholic holiday so we took our p-day/email time today instead. Transfer calls come on Friday and normally I would think there is no way I will be transferred because I just got to Munich, but I have a lot of feelings that SOMETHING is coming with this upcoming transfer and I need to be ready to accept whatever the AP's say when they call. I have had a couple of dreams about this as well, so I am a little curious to see what happens- it could be nothing or it could be something really cool. 

One of my favorite games when I was a little kid was a fun little board game called 'Chutes and Ladders.'  There was nothing more exciting than landing on a ladder that took you all the way to the very top, and yet there was nothing more frustrating than being at the very top, and slipping on a chute that took you all the way back to square 1.  
The cool thing about that game was that it didn't matter how slow or fast you climbed the ladder, because there was always the possibility of slipping on a chute or stumbling on a long, long ladder. As long as you kept rolling the dice and playing the game, progress was always being made, no matter how slowly. 
I feel like my mission is just one big game of Chutes and Ladders. There are times where all that my companion and I are doing are knocking on doors, dying of heat, and making cookies to bring by to people.  There are times where we are busy, teaching, and seeing miracles around every corner, even preparing for a baptism. But just like in the game, we never know when a chute is going to come our way, or how deep the chute is going to go.
We were doing companionship study one morning and were trying to organize everything for the 'A' family's baptism (which was scheduled for this upcoming Saturday.) It had been kind of hard to get in contact with them for the past week, because F's mom is really sick, they have been having a lot of family stress, and they have just been busy. We went by with a card to let them know that we were thinking of them, rang their bell, and got no answer. F answered her phone though, and said she was home, but didn't want to let us inside.  My heart sunk as I heard Sister Erdenetsogt talking with her on the phone, trying her best to console F, offer our help, and bear testimony of every truth that we so cherish. 
I didn't need Sister Erdenetsogt to explain it to me- I knew that we had just been dropped. They don't want us coming by anymore. It really is heartbreaking, especially to see them experience a total 180 change, and then decide that they are too stressed to meet with the missionaries. It was kind of a challenging day and a very challenging experience.  
But the thing about sliding down chutes, is that there are always stairs that lead right back to the top again. 

Overall, we kind of struggled this week as we tried searching for the stairs that the Lord wanted us to take.  We had put almost everything on hold to give all of our time to this family. And then to just be dropped out of nowhere-all of a sudden we had nothing. We searched in our area book, mustered up more of an effort to talk to as many people as we could, and prayed for guidance to know where to look to find people to teach.
It was pretty amazing how the miracles started to fall into place, one by one. It was a slow process for sure, and we had to work really hard this week. 
It wasn't until after we had pulled up our bootstraps and had determined to prove to the Lord through our diligence and patience and faith, that we finally started to receive answers to our prayers.  
A member came up to us after church last Sunday, saying that she was struggling with her testimony and wanted to be strong in the church again. She requested to meet with us frequently and go through all of the Preach My Gospel lessons again.  
And not only have we been able to practice the lessons and teaching them to her, but we have been able to feel a love for her and serve her in a very unique way. We have felt the spirit of conversion, even though it will not end in a baptism. And we have received an incredible amount of strength from our lessons with her, strength that we so desperately needed after some very long and hard days.  
We also swung by on a part member family to deliver some cupcakes to a young woman who just had a birthday. They invited us into their home, and their 8 year old brother who is not yet baptized, wanted us to play a little bit with him and his toy cars. He whispered to us ''I love it when you both come. The Sisters are always so kind to me, and I wish you would come more often!''  
We asked him if he had thought at all about his baptism, which he has always answered back with 'I am too shy to get baptized, I don't think I want to quite yet, can I wait a little bit?'  but this time, after thinking a little bit about it, he said 'sure, I think I am ready.' His sister walked into the room and he exclaimed ''Hey, did you hear I am going to get baptized this Sunday?'' Sister Erdenetsogt and I started cracking up, and then tried to tell him that he would have to wait a few weeks so we can teach him all the lessons first! He seemed pretty determined to get baptized this Sunday, but we luckily we were able to convince him to wait a bit. 
It has just been crazy to me to see how the Lord works. He works in miracles, He works through tender mercies, and He works by answering our prayers in unexpected ways. 
It has been a pretty rough week, but then again, I have felt the Lord so strongly on my side, guiding my every word and step. Though I do not much care for the hard times, I do know that it is through our struggles that we can truly feel our Heavenly Father's love for us if we are looking for it! That is the key- we have to keep our chins up and look for His hand. We will see it, I know, for Heavenly Father never leaves us alone. 

Remember, transfer calls are this week-eep!!  Pray for me 
Have an awesome week!  It's summer!  Woohoo!
Love to you all,
Sister Peterson

Friday, June 6, 2014

It's Been a Warrior Week

If there ever could be a bi-polar manifestation in my life,
This week would be it!

As last week came to a close, I had a heart so full of gratitude that I could think of NOTHING to ask for in prayer & fasting.
In place of requests, I had nothing but desire to express my heart felt and grateful praises.

In less than 24 hours time, that gratitude shifted to an overwhelming feeling of fear, failure and hopelessness! The shift was so sudden that I actually experienced a physical nausea from the emotional roller coaster.

As I have pondered this experience, I have tried desperately to understand, not only what happened (so I can avoid its repeat) BUT how to dig out of the hole I fell in.

In this very real world sometimes things won't go right-won't be perfect-and won't work out on the first try. Keeping a big picture perspective allows us to know that these times WILL pass but they have a place in our lives and we can't rush the process. It is in these moments of feeling down that we truly learn to appreciate the successes, good times and joys of life.

Last week in my yoga classes, I shared some thoughts that had inspired me. One dear student requested that I blog the mind practice I had shared. As these feelings overcame my heart, I had a difficult time putting the thoughts from class in written form.
After a long chat with my hubby this morning, where I was FINALLY able to put my feelings into words, I had peace restored to my soul. With this freedom came a paradigm shift to my long held beliefs on mindfulness and the power of the present moment.

Prior to the difficulties of this week, I have been adamant that living in the present moment is the key to feeling peace and contentment. I'm a big believer that we need to avoid living in the past and stay away from dwelling in the future- fear, anxiety, doubt, and hate are all manifestations of living outside of the here and now.
This thought process was challenged for me this week. Looking into the past and looking forward to the future, I knew my life was wonderful, peaceful and full of potential, but it was the here and now that felt too big to overcome.
With so many emotions and with a VERY heavy heart, the message I shared in class last week had a new meaning to my heart-
You have to take the good with the bad,
Smile when you're sad,
Love what you've got
And remember what you had.
Always forgive,
But never forget,
Learn from your mistakes
But never regret,
People change,
Things go wrong,
Just remember life goes on.
I realized that no matter how hard we try, things WILL go wrong and our strength may give way to our weaknesses AND we might come head to head with thoughts and feelings that seem to come rushing at us all at once and hit like a ton of bricks to the gut...

It is in these moments that we are brought to face ourselves head to head- and if we humble ourselves we can come out righteous and strong, just like the Warrior pose-
We go to yesterday in an effort to forgive and learn, but not forget-
And we think on tomorrow knowing our potential has no limits and we will win the battle!

In some way, I add some version of Warrior postures into my practice.
Warrior 1 is  a good posture to begin a standing series for many reasons.
VirabhadrasanaI
Image Source
 
Warrior 1 is a representation of a yogi's ability to "overcome their own ignorance...  if you attempt to stay in it for any length of time, you'll confront your own bodily, emotional, or mental weaknesses. Whatever limitations you have, the pose will reveal them so that they can be addressed." Man, does this explain how I felt this week!!
We've been adding Humble and Proud Warrior to our practice for several weeks.
Proud Warrior is a slight back bend, our eyes directed to Heaven...
Proud Warrior remembers all that we have; our talents, achievements, strengths and joys are a gift from above.
In a smooth and controlled flow, we take our bow into Humble Warrior
(a posture requiring core stability, strength & balance)
Humble warrior realizes that we can only tap into our full and divine strength and potential when we bring ourselves to complete and honest humility.

As things started to crumble this week, I realized that they hit me so hard because I was taking each hit personally. I accepted a position of pride thinking I, alone, am in control. Somehow, I allowed myself to think I could have stopped the destruction, could have prevented the pain. In my pride, I took my gaze off the heavens- my source of strength, and took on a pure defensive approach. I gathered all my weapons and went to war- which left my body and soul feeling a lot beat up.

When I applied the application of Proud Warrior in my life practice, and took my gaze to the heavens, my perspective returned and I realized I am not in control! I can only pray and hope that lessons will be learned and wisdom will be gained from hardships AND good times!
With this perspective, I could flow into my bow and assume Humble Warrior-- accessing all my strength while standing in complete submission to the flow of the Divine.
I, alone, can do nothing. But I, with my higher self (with my Heavenly Father) am limited by nothing at all.
The secret to having it all is knowing that you already do.

And friends,
Oxnard, CA 2013
I know I already do :)

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Mindfulness Matters

Some books that'll make you go hmmmmm.......

Excuses Be Gone by Wayne Dyer

More great book ideas to come :)

Monday, June 2, 2014

The Power of Priorities

My husband really struggles with perspective. When things are crazy at work, he is like a charging bull-

he puts his head down and charges through until the task is complete-
It is actually a quality that I admire and truly believe it is one of his greatest strengths- charging bulls do NOT get distracted by their environment. They see that bright red tease of the conquistador and that is ALL that they can see!
It is also one of his biggest weaknesses. This incredible focus and determination also prevents him from seeing a beautiful sunset or a fleeting rainbow,
dancing in the rain,

A sudden & massive downpour- gone in 5 minutes!

or sensing the needs of a struggling child!
Smiling but having a REALLY hard day :'(
Because of a recent life changing event in his life, he has the blessing and opportunity to re-invent himself a little. He has been more responsive than he has ever been before to my way of thinking (we definitely have a yin/yang relationship) and we have spent a lot of time talking about growth, perspective and priorities! On Thursday, we had the opportunity to talk about ways to set his priorities in order. Taking from Steven R. Covey's teachings and principles of balance, I suggested that hubby dear write his number one priorities. Those priorities will go FIRST into his calendar and 'to do' lists! After they have been accounted for, he can add in other tasks and chores!

As a result of our little chat, I felt the need to take a quick check into my own life balance as well. Though I study this topic thoroughly, counsel and advise others frequently, and practice all the techniques I know for physical and mental balance; it is important to check in with yourself once in awhile. It is far too easy to get distracted and have balance disturbed.

As I pondered my own life balance and priorities this past week, I noticed one thing that created within me a wake up call to awareness of my own goals and dreams. I have this dream, it's been with me for as long as I can remember- but I've always just kept it on the back burner as a "one day" type of dream! As I studied and had to report frequently on Time Management for a class I was taking last semester, I realized that not only is a 'dream unwritten merely a wish', but I also realized that by burying this dream in the context of secret life's desires, I had inadvertently tucked it a way, committing to myself that it would never manifest in my reality!!!

OOOOOOOHHHHHH! I did not like this idea at all, but I KNEW it was true! In order for anything to come into reality, it must be lived, talked about and acted upon as if it IS a reality! The problem that arises is that because dreams are often so ambiguous, it is hard to commit to them when the bills need to be paid, a child forgets their homework, or you see a spec of dirt on the floor (I'm an OCD housewife, by the way).

So acting on the advice I gave him, I sat down to pinpoint my priorities. I made a list of things that are MOST important to me. These things almost ALWAYS fall to the bottom of my lists (or worse yet, to 'tomorrows' list, which is where tasks go to die in my world)! When one of these things does make it into my day, there is a good chance that I DO NOT enjoy it as much as I should because of guilt for what I am NOT doing or fear that I will neglect something more important and let someone down!

*** Just a quick word of advice- if you hear in your mind or feel in your heart words like "fear", "shame", "guilt", or "regret" KNOW that these words do NOT exist in the current moment!! These are words that indicate you are living in the past or the future- both of which don't really exist- so do NOT let these feelings stick around. (more on this topic another day)

Because I think holistically- body, mind, and spirit- my list is separated this way as well. But here it is:
My Top 3 Personal Interests
1. Exercise
2. Study
3. Writing

My Top 3 Family Joys
1. Travel
2. Play
3. Food

and My Top 3 Spiritual Desires
1. Study
2. Worship
3. Family History (both for my posterity and my ancestors)

Eat, Sleep, Teach, Repeat
Please notice that clean floors, perfectly kept bedrooms and sparkling windows are NOT on these lists. Though a clean and orderly house is very important to me (did I say I suffer from OCD housewife syndrome?), it is NOT what is going to get me into Heaven nor is it the legacy I want to leave behind. I DO have to fit it in- I can't deny that-
BUT
...I have to make room for the true desires of my heart first. This perspective is what fuels dreams, harnesses power and drives personal success. I may not get to these items EVERY day- but if I have gone weeks without these priorities, there is a good chance I'm living a life off balance and off my chosen journey!

What would be your top 3 priorities and what can you do to make sure these priorities are making it into your daily life?
Go out and live the life you dream, the life you cherish, the YOU you were meant to be!


Blessings & Balance to you and yours,
TKP

A Spoonful of Sugar...

It is common practice in our church to dedicate the first Sunday of every month to fasting and prayer. My family and I have often offered specific and unified prayers for special blessings or needs we may be seeking. Concerns over health and strength or special desires for insight are often the subject of our fasting and prayer.


This is an opportunity for our spiritual selves to overcome our physical selves. I have come to discover the unique blessing this has been in my own life and in our family as a whole.

As May was drawing to a close, I reflected on the month and pondered what I might dedicate my June fast to. I realized that, with all the chaos in our home right now, I was most in need of offering a prayer of Gratitude! A trial that I have ALWAYS viewed as the ONE thing I did not think I could survive happened to our family at the end of March. Rather than beating me down and causing me to fret and fright each and every morning, noon, and night (which is my habit), I have felt peace, joy, and an overwhelming sense of privilege for such a trial! As the days have turned into weeks and the weeks into months, I see what a gift this is for my husband, my family and myself!

It felt very good to declare that I had no needs nor special concerns that were more important than the awareness I had of all the small and mighty beauties that had filled my life in April and May. As I had journeyed throughout the months of April and May, I had taken stock each day  of the sweet hand of the Lord in my life. I was overcome by the small and simple things that can bring us joy if we just open up and see them for what they are.

I believe these gifts of bounty are manifest in each of our lives. I also believe that we must be in the right mindset, otherwise there is a good chance we won't recognize that which is right in front of our faces.We need to open our hearts to see the world, our lives and our experiences in a way that is contrary to public habit. When we look at what we lack, it is very difficult to see our abundance. There is no lesson that I spend more time teaching my kiddos than that "Happiness is a Choice" and choice is the only thing in this life that we truly have complete control over.

retrieved from www.contentinacottage.blogspot.ca/2013/02/abraham-lincoln-quote-about-roses.html
If we only see the trial, it may be impossible to watch the hand of Mercy come in and prepare a path to beauty that never before seemed possible. This is the power of stepping back and looking at what we THINK we see with new eyes- a better perspective.
retrieved from http://www.justgrowalready.com/2013/08/reader-mail-how-do-you-react-to-setbacks.html#.Ule1JieVOS
 We can complain about the rainstorm, or we can dance in the rain.
My beautiful daughter with a determination that knows no bounds

After the storm, the rainbow WILL come, whether we choose to see it or not. The person who runs inside, angry about the storm that ruined the picnic is sure to miss the beauty in that very brief moment when the sun and the storm intersect. But he who chooses to dance in the rain, is sure to bask in the glory of what can only be created in full grandeur AFTER a storm!
Photo taken in McKinney, TX by friend Lisa Wood


Friday, May 16, 2014

Rainstorms & Rainbows

I love my Thursday night yoga class-

No matter what I have previously planned, once the room fills there is an energy that takes over and leads us all on a magnificent journey of discovery, introspection and, more often than not, a little laughter.

A few weeks ago, as we began our standing and balance postures, the skies turned that eerie dark color that usually means severe weather is upon us. It was interesting that no matter what I tried to do or how I tried to focus, I could not balance in any of our postures. One by one the room began to empty of students. Those who remained watched as the dark clouds began their very ominous swirling as they slowly gathered into a large funnel in the distance-
Finally the room emptied of students as we all realized that the weather had won over our need for a yoga practice that night. As I ran to my car, I was pummeled by golf ball sized hail and puddles that were as deep as my ankles.

Tonight, weather was on my mind again as the rain fell wildly from the sky. I have lived in many states and experienced all sorts of weather conditions, but the rain storms of both Texas and Minnesota (actually I think it is the whole mid-section of the country) are unique in many ways. Rather than being a rain 'fall' it is more like a rain 'dump'-
rain literally falls from the sky in buckets! And the dark sky that accompanies the SEVERE weather systems can swallow the light of mid-day in a heart beat!

As I drove to yoga, watching the weather change rapidly, I thought about that class a few weeks ago that ended early because of the extreme weather. I remembered how out of balance I felt that night and how difficult it was to maintain any sort of focus in the class or in myself. I wondered if tonight would end the same way- no focus, no balance and a room being emptied of people who knew in a situation like this the only place anyone really wants to be is  home.

Luckily, the clouds tonight slowly gave way to peaceful skies. The energy in class was vibrant and full; we were focused and balanced as we found our flow and. Rather than the thoughts I had prepared, I shared thoughts of the rain in Minnesota-
Looking down at the MN I-35 Bridge collapse
Minnesota is naturally a very green state. Lots and lots and lots of trees- as a matter of fact, when we first got there from Arizona I told my husband that all the trees made me a little claustrophobic!

The head of the Mississippi River; Lake Itasca State Park, MN
He always thought that was funny since all the trees make that Minnesota air so clean and fresh!
McKinnley Elementary School; Ham Lake, MN
Anyway, as it goes with seasons, this green foliage eventually gave in to winter's harsh bite. Trees lost their leaves, flowers died, bushes went dormant and grass was covered by (thick, thick) blankets of snow.
Home, Sweet Snowy, Home; Ham Lake, MN

All Bundled Up
The first peek-a-boo's of spring green were always eagerly anticipated as winter finally got exhausted and relinquished it's hold on all living things. Every year, with excitement, we would nurture our plants and foliage back to life. Sprinkler timers were set, fertilizers spread, and outside clean up projects would commence. I loved these days as I prepared for my favorite of all seasons- Spring!
Yum, YUM!
No matter how much work I did to enliven the plants, there was something unique about the moisture of the spring rains; the greens were brighter, the lawns thicker, and the leaves larger in a very tangible way. In awe, I would admire the work Mother Nature could do in a 30 minutes- a work I couldn't compete with even when I tried.

As I shared these thoughts with my class, I suggested that they take in a little of the spiritual aspect of today's rain. Allowing the pains, worries or disappointments of life to be washed away and to allow the nourishing qualities of the rain to breathe new life- invigorated life- in their place.
A sweet student, one who had been in class the night of the severe weather, shared a picture she took that night after the storm blew over. It was a beautiful picture of a rainbow, complete end to end; her entire street lit by the pale sunset peeking through a few remaining clouds. No fancy photo editing, no expensive equipment- just an appreciating eye and the camera on her phone. Yet the picture captured God's bounty and mercy in simple and perfect detail!
Double Rainbow- McKinney, TX; Spring 2014
Make no mistake, storms will brew and clouds will swirl overhead, heavy and dark with the burden of too much pressure bursting to be released. Thunder will clap and lightening may strike as the feeling in the air (one you can almost taste, smell and see) gives hints of severe weather ahead!

As reliable as the setting sun, the clouds will empty their load allowing thirsty Earth to get her fill and her plants and produce to be nourished and refreshed. These loud and proud manifestations of stormy weather WILL give way to clear skies, sunshine and nourishment that simply cannot be reproduced in any way. The clouds will depart as the blue sky pushes them away, demanding room for the sun and it's light to shine through---

---and if we are lucky, and we hit it just right, AND we are watching exactly where we should be waiting, we will see a rainbow, a beautiful and vibrant rainbow, we may even catch a double rainbow-
Tempe, AZ; 2006
The reminder that life is settling down, that God is aware of our needs and He has prepared a way for life's storms to be washed away, leaving in their wake a beauty and bounty that only the storm can bring.

Let us allow ourselves the refreshing power of the rainstorm, offering thunderclaps that get our attention to changes we must make, flash flooding to give rise to our weaknesses and heavy winds to sweep them away; allowing the rains to refresh and cleanse before the air of conflict is pushed aside by blue skies and brighter days.

Blessings & Balance to you and yours-

Friday, May 2, 2014

Forgive, Forget & Move On


I recently had an experience that has literally left me breathless at times.

As I begin to see the impact of one very simple decision made early one morning during my study and meditation time, I marvel at how intricately and well designed our lives are. There are no accidents, events are not random and coincidence is pride taking credit for spiritual serendipity- at least, this is my (pretty unshakable) opinion!

I have always teased that I have room for only one hate in my life. It's held pretty true in my life as I tend to have one person that I simply cannot get along with despite any effort put forth. I've been okay with this- I guess it is not a very good thing to admit to, but it is what it is :0  When we moved to Texas, I got a big ole' bee stuck up in my bonnet and I found my 'one hate'. I had convinced myself that she had done "this" and "that", so my feelings were definitely justified! This poor gal is an amazing person and why exactly I picked this bee up and put it in my bonnet I still haven't figured out. Luckily, the two of us didn't have a lot of interaction, but we did go to church together (yeah, this confession gets more embarrassing as I tell it) so there was plenty of opportunity for my blood to boil. In all honesty, I never spoke to anyone of my feelings, never spoke ill of her- EVERYTHING I felt and thought was held deep in my own heart and mind!

One morning I was studying progress- specifically what holds us back from progressing & what actions allow us to progress further. With my books at my side, I sat quietly to consider what I had just read- it was a passage from the book of Job in the Bible- and all of a sudden I knew that I needed to ask this gal for her forgiveness. Not just lay aside my feelings, but confess them to her!!! To top it off, I felt very strongly in my heart that I was under a time line- I had 24 hours to issue my heart felt, sincere apologies, tell her how I had felt and ask for forgiveness. I tried to talk myself out of it for about 5 minutes, but it was obvious this was NOT my imagination- there was a purpose to this and it needed to be sincere. I said a quick prayer asking for her heart to be softened and I took the plunge...

Okay, I took the wimpy approach and sent an email.

Within 5 minutes, she called me! I was a heart pounding, knees knocking nervous wreck. We talked, I expressed how I had felt, the things I had thought of her and reassured her that my feelings had been my own and I had not spoken ill of her. She admitted that she had known something was wrong, but wanted to give me space rather than confront me.

She forgave me...

Now we are great friends!

And, as it turns out, there was a purpose behind the process. Not only are we friends but we are partners in the biggest miracle I have ever been blessed to be part of.

I have two wonderful kiddos who have entered my life completely by divine plan. Some might say coincidence, but the more I understand and learn, the more I defend "Divine Plan"! Because of a lot of LIFE STUFF that these kids have gone through, I wanted to somehow be a help to their family. I knew that I needed a partner in this desire and who was the FIRST person to come to my mind- Yup! my nemesis turned friend!

In four months I have been blessed with an increased sense of love, compassion, charity, kindness, acceptance, determination and desire to serve than I have had in my 44 years of life prior! To say my life has been changed, my capacity to love increased and my personal balance in line would all be a HUGE understatement. I cannot wait to see where this journey eventually ends, but more important is that I feel incredibly blessed and privileged to be on the journey at all- a journey I enjoy every moment of every day!

And it started with forgiveness! Well, it started first with a desire to learn- it moved into humility to swallow my own pride and hurt. After eating the biggest piece of humble pie- than it moved to forgiveness.

My heart was touched, the voice I heard was still and quiet- but it told me I needed to make this relationship right, NOW! And in answer to my prayer, her heart was softened, bridges were repaired and a friendship has been forged!

I love this quote from Nelson Mandela,
"Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies" You can replace any anger or hostility filled word for 'resentment' but the thought is the same. The only person that really suffers with hostility, anger, hurt, resentment or hate is the person who is feeling it! If you are holding on to a negative emotion or two (or 6,000)- Let It Go! Lay it Aside- it is possible there is no room for the miracles in your life to come because you are simply too full to receive them.

Forgive, Forget & Move On

Blessings & Balance to you and yours,