a Journey never started, is never taken

I've been really bothered about something for a long time.
I hate the idea that there were blessings in my life,
and dreams on my path,
that I simply failed to see or even worse,
that I saw, but just didn't pick up.

Maybe I was preoccupied,
or overwhelmed with life,
or simply couldn't believe that what I saw was for the taking.

I DON'T want to cry over spilled milk,
but I DO want to learn from my mistakes,
and be sure that I don't continue leaving
blessings, opportunities and dreams by the wayside.

So I have spent a lot of thought on the matter,
and a lot of research to the thought on the matter.

And just last night, I think I have my answer,
or maybe just another thought,
but I'm going to share it anyway,
because I think it's a pretty good thought.

Recently I have decided that maybe it is time for me to get a job.
I've dabbled with this before,
like wouldn't it be fun to get a job for the holidays,
or wouldn't it be awesome to get a job at Big Box Store,
so we can get ______ (you fill in the blank)
at a discount!
But mind you, I've never been too serious,
they've always been like
"wouldn't it be nice to win the lottery",
but than never buying a ticket.

I went to lunch with a friend one day,
and I said,
I think I need a job-
and she kind of laughed,
than I'm sure she wondered if I was serious,
and she talked some pretty good sensical talk,
and asked some pretty good sensical questions,
and when I went home and thought about our talk,
I decided maybe I didn't want a job,
maybe I just want a hobby
or maybe I'm just looking for something
and I need to look elsewhere!

Well I just kept thinking,
well wasn't that my plan,
when the last child goes to school all day,
I'd get a job
to help pay for college, MISSIONS, WEDDINGS!
(eegads, I get dizzy thinking about it all)
so I thought, maybe the time is now.
(it is very important to make note of the fact that my BIG plans for my life have never been 
what really happens in my life- and I'm ok with that and do NOT believe it means I'm a failure,
just maybe my plans aren't the vision of He who is really in charge)
And one strange, random, sleepless night,
I applied online to ONE store.
And I thought the phase was through,
and went to bed with nary another thought.

Until I got a call the next day and I had an interview,
and after the interview,
I got a call the next day telling me I HAD a job!
WHAT!!!!
I haven't even talked to my husband yet!
WHAT!!!
Oh my gosh are you serious,
WHAT????
I have a job????

So with this very real grown up thing in front of me,
OH MY GOSH,
I have a job,
I started to take some pretty quick inventory of my life and my goals
and MY LIFE!
And I decided not one of the things I would get out of this opportunity was
what I wanted for
MY LIFE!
NOT ONE!

BUT,
I realized that talking to my friend actually made me start thinking about
the path that I DO want to be on,
and confessing to my husband
that I had ventured on this rather important decision without him,
and the feelings he shared as a result of that conversation,
forced me to really ponder on the path I DO want to be,
and ALL of the thoughts that I had
as I tried to envision myself working at this JOB
solidified what I DO want to be doing-

so in an even more random
and strange turn of events,
I DON'T have a job anymore,

but I know that a journey never started,
is a journey never taken!

Sometimes you have to get started,
realize you have it all wrong,
and turn around,
and start again-
this time realizing you have it all RIGHT!