Philosophy, Emotion, and a Chick Flick

A couple of days ago my two oldest daughters and I went to the movie.

not one of these, I just think it is funny that I have this picture :)

We went to a matinee of The Help. I LOVE-ED this book! I told everyone I knew
to read this book. And I begged my daughters to read it as well.

Kori did, and when I was trying to decide on who to see it with,
she was quick to say "ME, ME, PICK ME!"

So naturally I picked her!

And Kelci wasn't about to be left out of the party!

So we went shopping for jeans-
Oh I love me a comfy pair of jeans...

And than we went to the movie.
I was bombarded with emotion throughout the movie,
I just can't believe the courage that some people carry in their hearts & souls,
and I really wonder if I would be that kind of courageous in a similar situation.

So with emotion in my back pocket,
my daughters by my side,
and life experience swelling in my heart,
I was definitely in the mind set for a
sweet philosophical thought to my mind.

I have always loved raising my kiddos,
and I've always been grateful for this little
(okay, BIG)
family that I have created
(okay, okay, my husband too)
but I think I'm like most moms,
or dads or whoever,
that gets stuck sometimes wondering
"what if" and "how come"

I never really wallowed in too much pity about my mom dying so young.
Really I don't think it would have made much difference,
no amount of pity party could have brought her back to me,
and truth be told, I was not raised in a pity party planning family.
But in all honesty,
I think I was just too young to really get what I was missing out on.
I have amazing memories of her,
but at 11 years old,
what do you really, truly comprehend about relationships-
in my case NADDA!

My brain & heart just haven't been able to wrap around
not having a mom to help me pick out a prom gown,
or
not having my husband meet my mom,
or 
not having my mom comfort me when my first baby wouldn't stop
spewing his food or crying uncontrollably.

My brain & heart don't understand ANY of what I have missed out on,
so I don't tend to understand the HUGE blessing it is that my six kids
have THIS mom to come home to every day.

Until we went to the movie and
emotion was soaring through the very fibers of my being.

I couldn't help think about all the times that I have wondered why,
someone like me who had the goals that I had
was given the life that I lead.
And so loud and clear that it literally hurt,
I realized that these six kids of mine,
who surround me every day
who have a place in my heart,
the same heart that aches and rejoices with them constantly,
the same kids who I have wonderful relationships with, 
are my gift
my compensating blessing for having lost a really young mom
when I was a really young girl.

Each joy I share with them, I enjoy as their mother
but I think I've been enjoying them for my mom as well.
When they sorrow, I feel it for them, for me and for my mom!
What she didn't get to see through to the end,
I get to-
and now that I see that,
there is nothing I want to miss.

And rather profoundly,
I realized that this life is a gift,
a huge, amazing, valuable gift that has absolutely no limit.
And each day, our days are filled with activity,
we can call it mundane or
we can call it a miracle,
but what we call it
and how we see it,
is entirely up to us
and our only job is to open our eyes,
and open the gift!